Monday Musings #5–They CAN Stop All of Us

Greetings and salutations!  Before I begin, I just want to apologize for missing this column last week.  I was driving the 425 miles between my family and my home.  After seven hours, I really wasn’t fit to write anything remotely thoughtful. Therefore, I do apologize to all and sundry.

Now, down to business!

The news over the past week or so has been filled with stories on the ‘Raid on Area 51.’ While the original poster started the event (‘Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us’) as a joke, over a million people have RSVP’d to attend.  Hotels and motels in the area are all fully booked in anticipation of the September 20 event.

As we all know, the conspiracy-minded have good reason to be interested in Area 51.  At the very least, we know that the vast majority of top-secret spy planes and military aircraft have been tested there, at least since the U2 back in the 1950s.  That alone makes the base an interesting place to anyone with an interest in aviation.  The other great conspiracy regarding the base has to do with, of course, aliens. Supposedly, the US government is hiding at least nine alien spacecraft in an area known as S-4.  We know this because various whistle-blowers, starting with Bob Lazar, have come forward and made these claims.  For today’s purposes, I’m not going to comment on the veracity or lack thereof of these claims.  It’s enough to know that claims were made, and the conspiracy theory largely exists because of them.

Time has written several articles about the raid, most recently on June 19, when they discussed what could happen if people try to break in/rush/raid the base. From the article by Rachel E. Greenspan—

For Kyle Rakutis, who made an Area 51 visit at nighttime in 2014 on a road trip from the Boston area to the West Coast, things went differently. At the Little A’le’Inn, a bartender gave Rakutis directions up a dirt road to the gates of Area 51. That’s when his visit took a turn, he says. “I’m reading the signs and all of a sudden the gates open, so I drive in, and these three military guys come out, guns drawn. As I’m sitting there, I’m kind of freaking out, because they don’t really say anything,” Rakutis says. “They just say, ‘check him out,’ and start searching my vehicle immediately.”

Rakutis goes on to describe how he ‘feared for his life’, and he discourages anyone from attempting it.  I have to agree.

Anyone who’s ever watched a show that covers Area 51 knows about the ‘Camo Dudes’, security guards in white trucks who guard the perimeter, and are authorized to use deadly force.  That alone should discourage people.  Not enough?  There are sensors and surveillance equipment monitoring the roads and hills all around the perimeter of the base.  They’ve scrambled aircraft from Area 51 to intercept planes and helicopters that fly too close to the restricted airspace.

If people honestly believe ‘they can’t stop us all’, they’re in for a big surprise. No amount of Naruto running is going to keep people safe from base security. And the more people there are, the more likely the ‘raiders’ will at least get dosed with tear gas, and maybe rubber bullets, as well.  It’s just not worth it, and it’s not going to be fun.

So, if anyone reading this is thinking about going, my advice is to stay away.  If you’re just dying to see the spectacle, then drive up from Vegas and watch to see if anything happens…just don’t get too close to the gates, and keep well back from the known perimeter. Then go back to Vegas and catch a real show, or play blackjack, or go ziplining on Fremont Street. Just don’t expose yourself to harm.

Now, this all brings us back to the central question that is, at least for the near future, unknowable:  What are they building in there? What are they working on? WHAT, FOR THE LOVE OF ERIS, IS IN THERE?

Please remain calm, and return your seats to the upright and locked position. Here are my thoughts:

What’s in Area 51? Who knows? Certainly, experimental aircraft.  Possibly alien crafts of some type. If they’re in there, then they’re being guarded with the best, most up-to-date security that the Air Force has. But one thing that you won’t find?  Actual aliens.  Everyone knows they keep them at Wright-Patterson, anyway.